I love Sakurai. He’s my favorite creative person period. But if these characters are not in Smash Bros. I will never speak to him again.

1. Captain Toad

There’s a lot of dumb things Nintendo has done, but the dumbest thing is that Captain Toad wasn’t immediately grandfathered into the cast of characters that consistently appear in Mario spin off titles. Real studies I have made up prove titles with Captain Toad do significantly better sales wise than titles that don’t. It’s a travesty that elite like Princess(?) Rosalina can coast into the cast after simply a supporting role, but a hardworking middle class Toad had to work his way up to a solo title and still doesn’t get any thanks for it. Sakurai can fix this mistake however. Or our friendship will end before it ever begins.

2. Rayman/Globox/Barbara

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Did Nintendo plan on adding these characters until Ubisoft pulled out of Rayman Legends exclusivity deal? It would explain why they appear in the game as trophies and why their models look like a work in progress. Putting all of that aside, given Nintendo’s close relationship with Ubisoft these days these characters almost feel inveitable. And I think they’d be fun! Their moveset in the games would easily make a good moveset in Smash, and they got a lot of personality. Sure if we’re being honest Rayman isn’t the biggest video game character, but he’s the closet thing Ubisoft has to a mascot. I’d love to see Globox and Barbara as alt costumes or echo fighters, but who knows what they’ll do.

3.Nintendog

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Speaking of dumb things Nintendo has done, why haven’t they brought Nintendogs back as a mobile game? That’s money sitting on the table. Anyways, Wii Fit Trainer is probably my favorite new character in Sm4sh. Have I played Wii Fit? No. Do I have Wii Fit Trainer’s amiibo? No because its super rare but you can bet your butt I’m gonna snatch it up if Reggie decides to reprint it. So why do I love Wii Fit Trainer mad? Mainly because it made people mad, but also because its such a weird out of left field choice that only Smash Bros. can provide. And I think Nintendogs could have the same impact. I guess their moveset could be based around the toys you can get? I don’t know, it’s probably been a decade since I played the first one. Heck, maybe you could even make it a echo fighter of Duck Hunt Dog! Somehow…

4.Aurora from Child of Light

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Child of Light is an amazing game and I shouldn’t have to justify why my daughter should be in this game next question.

5.Madeline from Celeste

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I just really really really like this game, but Madeline probably hasn’t earned it anyway. Next question.

6. Thanos

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C’mon it’d be cool right?

7-10. Any Fire Emblem Character Sakurai Wants

The fact that Sakurai hasn’t Jim Henson’d himself by now is surprising to be honest. This man puts so many hours of work into this franchise, he deserves to put in whoever he chooses. So if the rest of the roster for this game is Fire Emblem characters you are going to take it and you are going to like it.

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Stray Thoughts

· I’m joking about the title, but I hope that it never gets taken out of context and comes back to bite me

· I’m serious about 1-3, but I would love to see the rest as well. I never really expect them to make their way in though.

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· I think Shovel Knight would probably be a better indie rep than Madeline, even though I don’t love his game. Don’t get me wrong! I love the character and the game is super great and nails the retro aesthetic better than anyone save for Sonic Mania. But the weird knockback you’d get when hit and the extra campaigns kinda soured me on the whole experience. Still a really great game despite that though!

· Speaking of Aurora, it’s a shame Child of Light never got a sequel of some kind and Ubisoft stopped making UbiArt games. I hope at the very least it makes its way back to Switch because I’d totally rebuy it!

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